Black People & Tuna Melts

Posted: May 16, 2012 in Uncategorized
Tags: , , , , ,

A morally awkward swim in my brain drain….

First, let me say that this format is surely not mine and I hope that DDMD will forgive my temporary swipe of her style.  But, that being said, I felt it necessary to blog about ‘Black People and Tuna Melts’.

On the way home, I pondered “what will I eat for dinner tonight?” I searched the crevices of old imbedded memories drawn from taste-bud to hippocampus, which by the way sounds like a college for large moist mammals, but still couldn’t decide on what I wanted until I drove by a Dunkin Donuts and saw their improper offering of mass produced individually prepared container imprisoned tuna fish.  So, I decided on tuna and what better way to serve mangled fish remains to myself than to have it between two pieces of toasted bread and Swiss cheese; A Tuna Melt.

Upon entering the store in my neighborhood, I was reminded as to why I liked to keep to myself and not interact with anyone, she, this female, was impolitely blocking the automatic doors with her body so I said, “Excuse me Sister” and the annoyance at either my unexpected politeness or that she may have thought I really was her brother, only to be disappointed at me being me, was etched all over her face.  It was as if I was the burden to her exiting through the entrance or maybe it was just me, over thinking it.

Moving along

Cruising up and down the aisles as I do on many occasions, the rows were filled with people that looked like me but didn’t act like me.  A loud-mouthed woman was running her mouth on her cell while her little boy caressed a box of Cocoa Puffs like little girls hold their baby dolls.  Another gaggle of women, with their exposed muffin-tops, argued back and forth about which shampoo would be better for their ummm, hair. (I think there was a sale on wig and weave shampoo, I’m just saying)

Then there was a heavily bearded fella, like myself, that made awkward eye contact with me as he pushed a boy and girl in a carriage past me. Thinking he was going to give the “going by head-nod” due to our common face-blankets, I nodded my head only to be ignored.

After the kind of day I had at work and these strange folks at the store I was ready to get out of there.  Looking for the canned seafood aisle, I turned the corner in hopes of getting what I needed so I could get out of there and there she was a young lady with a cart, texting on her cell phone, in front of the tuna, holding up my dinner.  I waited to see if she would notice me looking through her to get at the tuna fish but she stood there, texting away so I said, “Excuse me Sister”, she makes no eye contact, huffs and puffs and takes off with her carriage.

Black folks….I swear!

  Tuna Meltdown


  • 1 can Albacore Tuna
  • 2 tbsp Hellmans Mayonnaise
  • 1 tsp sweet relish
  • 1 tsp yellow mustard
  • Salt
  • Pepper
  • 1 Vine Ripened Tomato
  • 2 Slices of Finladia Swiss
  • 2 Slices of Multi-grain Bread


  1. In a bowl, add tuna, mayo, relish, mustard, salt & pepper – Mix with a fork
  2. Cut up your tomato, toast the bread and cheese
  3. Spread tuna on bread, add tomato, toast again briefly, Enjoy!



  1. I STILL can see that kid caressing the box of cocoa puffs. Very amusing piece Jerel!

  2. Lynn says:

    Sitting here in probate court (ugh!) thoroughly amused by this one. Thanks J for making this dreadful time go smoother.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s