Al Green asked, “How can you mend a broken heart?” Toni Braxton sung “Unbreak my heart” beautifully and now doctors are coming up with a pill to heal our hearts literally after heart attack! But the question remains, how can you mend a broken heart? I wish I knew.
When I think of matters of the heart, I can feel the open wound, the festering cavern in my chest that once housed a warm-loving heart. Instead, inside, there’s a hollow chamber, a cold empty repository of bad memories, bad experiences and lost loves.
When you realize that you have a broken heart, you realize that you were in love. A lot of men don’t like to admit that they were in love, trying in many ways to disproved the notion but, when heartbreak hits a man, it hits us hard. It may not show as outwardly as it would in a woman, maybe or maybe not but, we hold on to the pain and have a hard time of letting it go.
I know that I’m living a life with a broken heart, part self-inflicted, part “their” fault but, I’m learning very, very slowly to let this young clinker heal. What heals the heart? Is it lust, is it sex, is it bouncing around from one person to the next, the so called feeling out process a.k.a. dating? Or, could it be an internal adjustment of priorities, loving YOU more and taking better care of yourself, possibly?
How about friendship?
Personally I’m notorious for jumping too fast at opportunities to tie it up with a woman when it’s presented to me. I think of the long term before the short, thinking that things will work themselves out down the line, rather than working on the now. Kind of like putting the cart before the horse and we all know how that looks. Friendship in any relationship; be it personal or business can be helpful. So, does establishing a strong friendship before a relationship build a better…’SHIP’?
I’ve heard of successful relationships and marriages where the two say they are the best of friends or they were friends before they even thought they’d ever be together so, I’m sure there’s some validity to it,would it work for me, I would certainly hope so.
I always like to add a disclaimer, that I by no means am an expert on relationships but, who is? We see these “hoity-toity”, therapist, analyst and authors that claim to be experts by right of degrees they got from school but, have they experienced the things they counsel us on? Probably not! So what I say about how I feel and what I see should be taken just as critically and equally as helpful. (I’m just talking)
Back to heartbreak…
So, I’m not sure how to round out the rest of this blog, I mean, I just really want to get things off my chest and out into the world about how I feel about such a burning topic in the world of men.
A broken heart is a figure of speech but, what actually is broken when we hurt so much after or even during a relationship? Is it all in our heads? Is it an inception of thoughts and waking dreams that we create and sometimes lose control of and when we do the end result is the body living without the mind? So many of us have lost our minds over the thing called love, which is merely a four letter word, although it holds as much gravitas as the earth we stand on. We’ve hurt and killed others all in the name of love…if I can’t have you no one can! Isn’t that madness?? Can we choose our minds over our hearts? I feel that I’m living that way now…full mind, empty heart or at times, no heart at all. 😦
How can you mend a broken man? Al Green somehow provides the soundtrack to my sadness, well at least to bits and pieces of my life. I ask the same question; maybe I’m connected to a network of broken men and Al is our guide. Am I a broken man? Sure, but being in this state of flux, I’m more focused on my future and the future of my children and family and overall, that’s not such a bad trade off.